This morning I went out for a coffee with three of my good friends. Had a lovely time and lots of giggles, we all share a common link...Breast cancer. It is good to spend time in the company of ladies who are going through or have been through the same illness. No matter how much a family member or a friend tries to understand how you are feeling only somebody who has "been there" themselves can fully appreciate the feelings you might be having.
I get moments where I want to just sit down and give up, moments when I think I'm having a bad dream and will eventually wake up but then realize it's all real. Moments when I feel angry or other moments when i just sit down and cry. Who do I cry to? who can I burden? In the past when I've cried people have not known how to react so they will say "Be positive" I've tried opening up my feelings to family but this was not the best thing to do as when I cry they are upset and then when i get angry they take it personally. When I get angry it's at the cancer not at the person. So now I know that the only people I can really talk to are those who have been through it themselves, my Macmillan nurse and of course God.
Sometimes I sit on the edge of my bed with my head in my hands needing a hug but after chatting to God and having a hug from him, I say to myself "right that's your pity party over, now pick yourself up and make the most of your time."
Living with cancer for me is not about moping about but for rejoicing in life each day. It's also about being around people who lift your spirits and who you can laugh as well as cry with. I lack energy so what precious energy I have got I want to use to live to the full. Which means laughter, laughter and more laughter.....
Your current "About Me" in your profile poses the teaser "What was the person doing who discover that chemo killed cancer cells".
ReplyDeleteThey were checking the effects after an accidental exposure to mustard gas by some WWII soldiers. It was found that divison of white blood cells had been affected.
They were inspired to believe that cancer growth might also be affected and conducted a successful trial. More effective drugs and combinations were later developed.
This contrasts with the initial development of chemotherapy in 1908 (for treating syphylis) which was based on experiments with rabbits on a trial and error basis to find the right chemical "bullet". This also took some belief because 605 compounds were tested before finding one that half worked, and many more before finding one that was safe enough to use. And even then, the Jewish scientist (Paul Ehrlich) was "persecuted" by others who were jealous of his success.
Either way, we can thank God's provision as well as the dedication and inspiration of gifted scientists trying to alleviate suffering.
Congratulations on this blogg and God Bless.
Jeremy CHBC xxx