The following is taken from a brochure by We are Macmillan cancer support, booklet The Emotional effects of cancer page 24.. 9th edition 2008.
"When you talk to people with cancer, even the most positive of them will admit to low times when they felt depressed and anxious. NO one can be positive 100% of the time. You don't have to feel on top of things all the time. Being positive doesn't mean always having to feel happy and cheerful. IT'S a positive to acknowledge and talk about your feelings- even when you're feeling tired, worried, depressed or angry.
There may be times when you want to talk about a difficult topic like the chance of the cancer being cured or making a will. Comments about being positive are not always helpful....- in FACT, they can be very upsetting."
If anybody reading this feels they would like any literature or to even talk to somebody then contact MACMILLAN call free on 0808 808 0121 monday-friday 9am-8pm
or visit www.macmillan.org.uk.
Thursday 15 March 2012
Tuesday 13 March 2012
13th March 2012
Hello my friends, sorry haven't been on here in ages. The truth of the matter is that for a couple of weeks have felt very "flat" not depressed but just flat. I didn't want to speak to anybody or go out in public. I wasn't in the mood for people trying to cheer me up with "look on the bright side" attitudes. I just wanted to curl up and watch TV, and get lost within a good book. When my Husband and kids came home I was more than willing to chat to them.
Then Thursday of last week I was sat in my lounge watching TV when I suddenly started crying, my Daughter rushed into the room and asked what was wrong? I honestly didn't know. I just sobbed and sobbed to the point I could barely breath. My friend Sarah came round a bit earlier as we had planned to have lunch together anyway. It was the first time I think that she had ever seen me so upset. Most of the time I am smiley, chatty and upbeat, but I am human and get off days.
On Sunday morning the sun was shining so Chris my hubbie wanted to go out so we drove to my favourite village of Corfe. We had a cup of tea in the national trust cafe. All of a sudden I had the most horrendous hot flush where I was dripping wet. Then once the hot flush had gone I felt cold and wet and then shivery. I asked if we could go home. I then felt awful for spoiling Chris' day out. He put me my garden chair out on the patio and I sat and read a book in the sun. Next thing I know tears are just tumbling down my face. Why? I didn't know.
People see me out and about and comment on how well I look. the doctors say how well I look. the truth is that inside my body is crumbling to a wreck. Every mundane thing tires me out. I told a friend only today that I get dressed in the morning then I need a rest to recover from getting dressed.
I have been ill since 2006 and I am tired and worn out.
But must keep smiling.
:)
I
Then Thursday of last week I was sat in my lounge watching TV when I suddenly started crying, my Daughter rushed into the room and asked what was wrong? I honestly didn't know. I just sobbed and sobbed to the point I could barely breath. My friend Sarah came round a bit earlier as we had planned to have lunch together anyway. It was the first time I think that she had ever seen me so upset. Most of the time I am smiley, chatty and upbeat, but I am human and get off days.
On Sunday morning the sun was shining so Chris my hubbie wanted to go out so we drove to my favourite village of Corfe. We had a cup of tea in the national trust cafe. All of a sudden I had the most horrendous hot flush where I was dripping wet. Then once the hot flush had gone I felt cold and wet and then shivery. I asked if we could go home. I then felt awful for spoiling Chris' day out. He put me my garden chair out on the patio and I sat and read a book in the sun. Next thing I know tears are just tumbling down my face. Why? I didn't know.
People see me out and about and comment on how well I look. the doctors say how well I look. the truth is that inside my body is crumbling to a wreck. Every mundane thing tires me out. I told a friend only today that I get dressed in the morning then I need a rest to recover from getting dressed.
I have been ill since 2006 and I am tired and worn out.
But must keep smiling.
:)
I
Friday 3 February 2012
3rd February 2012
Sorry haven't been on here for a while as spent over two weeks in the Forest Holme Hospice to get my pain under control. Whilst there I was taken across to the main hospital for my bone scan. The scan showed that the cancer has spread quite a bit especially in my left leg in the femur, there are now also traces in the left cheekbone of my face. It was decided that a large dose of radiotherapy on my femur would help with the pain. meanwhile I was started on an intravenous dia-morphine pump. This seemed to help. Then a week later I was transported across to the main hospital for the radiotherapy.
A week after I'd been admitted to the hospice I was allowed home for a few hours. Just a couple of hours of being at home my Minister had popped by to see me and whilst he was here and I was busy chatting to him I suddenly heard my voice getting more and more slurred and I couldn't keep my eyes open or communicate. I could hear everything people were saying and heard my Minister call my Daughter who was upstairs at the time. My Daughter was amazingly calm and made all the necessary phone calls. In the meantime my best friend Angie turned up. An ambulance was sent out with paramedics. I kept coming in and out of conciousness and at one point one of the paramedics asked me if I was a DNR (Do Not Recussitate) I replied yes. This note was added to my medical notes last November 2011. If and when my heart stops it will because my body is so very tired from fighting the disease then trying to restart my heart would not acheive anything other than keep me alive probably in a comatosed state for a few more weeks. If however I was to fall over and stop breathing then I am entitled to be recussitated as it would have been the fall and not the cancer who caused it.
Anyway after what seemed like ages I was loaded onto the ambulance. The paramedics were amazing and took me back to the Forest Holme. I can't keep telling people enough just how wonderful the medical team at FHH are. They help to make the atmosphere cheery and treat each person who enters the building with warm caring attitude. Whilst I stayed there this time I was on a small ward of 4 ladies. I made a few friends but was also sad to witness some pass away. I was deeply moved at how the nurses reacted to each patient that passed away. After comforting the family a nurse stayed with the patient and as they changed them into clean clothing I could hear the nurse telling the patient exactly what she was doing, even though this patient was no longer with us. On telling my Husband about this I cried as I said it brought me comfort knowing that when my time comes that I will be treated with kindness and dignity.
I am so glad to be back home but had a very moving time in the Hospice, meeting wonderful people somw of whom I will continue to have contact with. A lot of people see and hear the word Hospice and are frightened thinking only of death. But in actual fact to me and my family the hospice has meant helping us to live our life without pain enabling us to go about as normal as possible. So to us Hospice means LIFE as well as Death.
A week after I'd been admitted to the hospice I was allowed home for a few hours. Just a couple of hours of being at home my Minister had popped by to see me and whilst he was here and I was busy chatting to him I suddenly heard my voice getting more and more slurred and I couldn't keep my eyes open or communicate. I could hear everything people were saying and heard my Minister call my Daughter who was upstairs at the time. My Daughter was amazingly calm and made all the necessary phone calls. In the meantime my best friend Angie turned up. An ambulance was sent out with paramedics. I kept coming in and out of conciousness and at one point one of the paramedics asked me if I was a DNR (Do Not Recussitate) I replied yes. This note was added to my medical notes last November 2011. If and when my heart stops it will because my body is so very tired from fighting the disease then trying to restart my heart would not acheive anything other than keep me alive probably in a comatosed state for a few more weeks. If however I was to fall over and stop breathing then I am entitled to be recussitated as it would have been the fall and not the cancer who caused it.
Anyway after what seemed like ages I was loaded onto the ambulance. The paramedics were amazing and took me back to the Forest Holme. I can't keep telling people enough just how wonderful the medical team at FHH are. They help to make the atmosphere cheery and treat each person who enters the building with warm caring attitude. Whilst I stayed there this time I was on a small ward of 4 ladies. I made a few friends but was also sad to witness some pass away. I was deeply moved at how the nurses reacted to each patient that passed away. After comforting the family a nurse stayed with the patient and as they changed them into clean clothing I could hear the nurse telling the patient exactly what she was doing, even though this patient was no longer with us. On telling my Husband about this I cried as I said it brought me comfort knowing that when my time comes that I will be treated with kindness and dignity.
I am so glad to be back home but had a very moving time in the Hospice, meeting wonderful people somw of whom I will continue to have contact with. A lot of people see and hear the word Hospice and are frightened thinking only of death. But in actual fact to me and my family the hospice has meant helping us to live our life without pain enabling us to go about as normal as possible. So to us Hospice means LIFE as well as Death.
Thursday 12 January 2012
12th January 2012
Sorry I haven't been on here for a while. I've not felt too well for a couple of weeks and my Husband Chris has had to call out a Doctor or a nurse in the middle of the night to adminster morphine by injection to ease my pain. The pain is getting increasingly worse and i'm having to take more pain relief before I feel comfortable.
Over the weekend my local Hospice offered me a bed for a few days to get the pain under control, but i declined as I wanted to be at home. My palliative care consultant has upped my pain meds, so I'd rather be at home taking pain meds than at hospital. Having said that the staff at the Forest Holme Hospice are absolute angels and I can't praise them enough.
On the subject of the Hospice there are many ways of helping to raise money for the Forest Holme Hospice to help make patients staymore comfortable and also for their loved ones who spend so much time there.
A) you can save the posted stamps off your letters and post them to "THE FUNDRAISING OFFICE, FRIENDS OF FOREST HOLME, 5 SELDOWN ROAD, POOLE, DORSET, BH15.1TS.
B) if you would like to send somebody flowers you could consider going through "Charity Flowers. on www.charityflowers.co.uk by buying flowers from this company and clicking on Forest Holme as your desired charity they will donate 15% to the Hospice. I have used this service several times and they are very good.
C) go onto Forest Holme Website which is www.friendsofforestholme.org.uk where you will find other ways to donate.
I am collecting postage stamps as I think why throw them out when they can raise money for something so worthwhile. I have to visit the Forest Holme hospice on a regular basis and they care for me so very well. It doesnt feel like a hospital inside but more homely. A lot of these "homely" items are there because of donations.
Thank you.
x
Over the weekend my local Hospice offered me a bed for a few days to get the pain under control, but i declined as I wanted to be at home. My palliative care consultant has upped my pain meds, so I'd rather be at home taking pain meds than at hospital. Having said that the staff at the Forest Holme Hospice are absolute angels and I can't praise them enough.
On the subject of the Hospice there are many ways of helping to raise money for the Forest Holme Hospice to help make patients staymore comfortable and also for their loved ones who spend so much time there.
A) you can save the posted stamps off your letters and post them to "THE FUNDRAISING OFFICE, FRIENDS OF FOREST HOLME, 5 SELDOWN ROAD, POOLE, DORSET, BH15.1TS.
B) if you would like to send somebody flowers you could consider going through "Charity Flowers. on www.charityflowers.co.uk by buying flowers from this company and clicking on Forest Holme as your desired charity they will donate 15% to the Hospice. I have used this service several times and they are very good.
C) go onto Forest Holme Website which is www.friendsofforestholme.org.uk where you will find other ways to donate.
I am collecting postage stamps as I think why throw them out when they can raise money for something so worthwhile. I have to visit the Forest Holme hospice on a regular basis and they care for me so very well. It doesnt feel like a hospital inside but more homely. A lot of these "homely" items are there because of donations.
Thank you.
x
Sunday 1 January 2012
1st January 2012
Happy New Year to everybody.
My new year started off a bit miserable. I was awake most of the night with terrible pain in my bones. Chris gave me extra doses of Oramorph (liquid morphine) but the pain did not subside. About 6am Chris called the out of hours Doctor. The Doctor came and upped my doseage of pain killers. The pain eased off a bit but continued with a certain amount. I was unable to get dressed as felt washed out from all the drugs so i spent the day in my pyjamas and dressing gown. I have kept dozing off all day.
Both Chris and I are tired as this is the second night without sleep because of my pain. Friday night Chris had to ring the Hospice for advice and also spoke to the Doctor.
As soon as i was able I phoned my Minister to ask him to pray for me. Whenever I get a lot of pain I ask for prayer as I know this helps. It gives me a peace which helps me cope with the pain or whatever i'm going through.
My new year started off a bit miserable. I was awake most of the night with terrible pain in my bones. Chris gave me extra doses of Oramorph (liquid morphine) but the pain did not subside. About 6am Chris called the out of hours Doctor. The Doctor came and upped my doseage of pain killers. The pain eased off a bit but continued with a certain amount. I was unable to get dressed as felt washed out from all the drugs so i spent the day in my pyjamas and dressing gown. I have kept dozing off all day.
Both Chris and I are tired as this is the second night without sleep because of my pain. Friday night Chris had to ring the Hospice for advice and also spoke to the Doctor.
As soon as i was able I phoned my Minister to ask him to pray for me. Whenever I get a lot of pain I ask for prayer as I know this helps. It gives me a peace which helps me cope with the pain or whatever i'm going through.
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