Had trouble getting out of bed this morning. I slept until 10.30am when Chris woke me with my meds. I laid in bed wondering when I die will I just go to sleep one night and not wake up? or will I have some time to say my goodbyes? Not something that had crossed my mind until today. I seem to be sleeping for longer and longer each day. What upsets me the most is that I may never get to see my Sisters again before I go as they both live abroad and so far away. It would cost them a lot of money to get here. So I'm just grateful I got to see them both in the Summer. I miss being able to just pick up the phone for a chat when I feel upset. Because of time differences this makes it difficult.
Sorry if this is'nt the happy blog like it usually is but thats the way it is. I can't always be bright and bubbly, I'm only human.Tonight I feel lower than Ive felt in a long time. I feel numb. Tonight I've worn myself out even more than i was already by crying my heart out. Today is one of those days when not only have I had to deal with whats happening here but other stuff as well. I can't cope with other stuff on top of this as its all too much. I need calm, rest, love and support.
Tonight I need God more than ever to pull me out of this abyss. If I am to get through this I need God more than ever. He keeps me going. Jesus is my Saviour. He is there for me always. My Alpha and Omega.
No comments:
Post a Comment